Employee Training

To All Employees:In order to assure the highest, levels of quality, work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of                  SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T).We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed inDEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go toEMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING(E.A.T. S.H.I.T).Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they
don't have to take S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T).For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department ofMANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION(M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T).This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.TIf you have further questions, please direct them to ourHEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(H.O.T. S.H.I.T).Thank you,BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(B.I.G. S.H.I.T)P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T They have already had their fill of S.H.I.TThank you for your time.Sincerely,

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T).