Thursday, December 18, 2014

Great Truths, etc.

                                   GREAT TRUTHS CHILDREN LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't- Baptize Cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second, person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a Tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same, time.
8) You can't hide a piece of Broccoli in a glass of Milk.
9) Don't wear Polka-dot, underwear under White, Shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.                                                             

GREAT TRUTHS ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few, nuts.
4) Today's mighty Oak is just yesterday's nut that held its' ground.
5) Laughing is good, exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle- age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. 

                                     GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 

1) Growing- old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health, food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're old when you get the same sensation from a rocking, chair that you got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great, healer, but it's a lousy, beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.                                                           

                                               THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

1) You believe in Santa.
2) You don't believe in Santa.
3) You are Santa.
4) You look like Santa.                                                                                                          

                                                                          SUCCESS: 

At age – 4, success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age -12, success is . . . having friends.
At age -17, success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age -35, success is . . . having money.
At age 50, success is . . . having money.
At age 70, success is . . . having a driver’s license.
At age 75, success is . . . having friends.
At age 80, success is . . . not piddling in your pants.                                                                                    

Pass this on to someone needing a laugh. Always forget the troubles that pass your way. And NEVER forget your  daily, blessings. Have a wonderful, day with many *smiles* Take time to live!!! Life is too short. Dance nude.

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